bewarned my albinos this gets ugly.
Jasper:I sat in my study contemplating what had happened in the forest with Nessie and I.I knew I didn't have feelings for her.I loved Alice but............I did notice Nessie's ass the other day,was that wrong of me,yes it was dammit.Ugggg,this is wrong I said mentally slapping myself.Suddenly,we heard a scream.I took off running to towards the scream.When we got there we saw a pool of blood with Nessie in it.We saw a true werewolf,not a halfassed shapeshifter like the quiluites,standing to the side twitching with a paw and eye missing thanks to nessie.Edward said"let her mind barrier down I need to see what happened."Bella screamed"just treat her"Carlisle said "she'll need a breathing machine her throat is too messed up." Emmett and Rosalie quickly finished off the wolf while esme was cussing it out. We all gasped as Nessie woke up with silver eyes and fangs.
well wasn't that a shocker. Anyways as I told my friend meg nessie gets a breathing machine, that was a real werewolf,The shapeshifters are halfassed posers and,I saw wicked this weekend. peace out my little meg albinos.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Nessie and Jasper
(me and my friend meg wrote this to gether so enjoy albinos bewarned this is serious)
Jacob: hey ness.
Nessie: hey jake I have something to tell you.
Jacob: what that your preggo?
Nessie: I'm still a virgin you should know.
Jacob: thats only because you won't give my hand a visa for south of the border.
Nessie: dip da dirr.
Jacob: what is it you wanted then.
Nessie: I'm breaking up with you.
Jacob: what? How could you?
Nessie: I'm in love with another man.
Jacob: LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK! I HATE YOU YOU YOU BUNNY WHOLE!
Nessie: goodbye jake.
--------------------hours later---------------------------
Nessie:the sun beat down on me hard a rare occurence for Forks, as my bare feet pounded against the familiar grassy earth. He was hunting alone this much I knew. Sneaking up on him was a terrible idea and might be the end off my life but I fretted not. I had to see if he returned my feelings. Iknew he and Alice were having issues. Her ditzy and carefree.Him controling, dominating, pure unadulterated strength.I could see in my mind blond curls,honey eyes, and that smirk that could melt glaciers.Uncle Jasper sat on the edge of the cliff,facing the setting sun,which cast beams onto the water below. His shirt slightly torn. The scars on his chest visible from here.They repulsed my mom. She wouldn't let me here the story behind them.I wanted Jasper even if it ment stabbing my aunt in the back.To me she was nothing.Smoothly as my mother I stepped on a limb. Jasper's head turned and he lunged. He hit me like a sack of bricks knocking me over and landing on top of me.I felt enthralled by the intamicie. He quickly pulled off..too quick for my liking.He pulled me up and quickly said"sorry force of habit are you okay?" I quickly nodded my assent.He pulled me over to where he had been sitting. I asked him" whatcha lookin at?"He pointed to the setting sun and I nodded in understanding.I asked him"need a new shirt?" he promtly looked embarresed and nodded. He quickly took the top off and tossed it to the sea below. I quickly took the time to admire his well toned stomach.I pretened to look through my bag and said"oops don't have one I'm afraid.""s'okay"he mumbled.I then leaned up against him closer than most were aloud. I put my hand on his thigh and proptly asked him"am I sexually appealing?"He looked like a doe in headlights so I took the innesiative and flipped him over and started kissing him. He quickly regained his sences and pushed me off."what was that about I'm your uncle and I married to alice?"He quickly bolted towards the house and I knew I couldn't catch him.I just sat there crying. It wasn't like I hadn't expected this it just hurt more than I thought.
Jasper:I was breaking inside. Part of me wanted to keep going with nessie,but part of me knew that was wrong and kept me from giving in to my primal urges.
It wasn't like I wasn't in love with Alice but she wasn't my type.She was carefree and ditzy. Part of me missed Maria she was my equal in everything we had been intament on several occassions but Alice didn't know that. Nessie was so like Maria strong,ressilient,brave everything I admired in a woman.I repeat I am still in love with alice but I can't shake this feeling Nessie is my life. Besides I'm her uncle I shouldn't feel this way my family would not approve and what about jacob last time I checked Nessie was still dating him.Perhaps I just need some time alone.
Well my readers I told you it would be serious. Anyways nessie is not techinaclly related to jasper so it is legal. Any ways thanks to my incredible albino cowriter for this chapter Meg Giry I look foeward to working further with you.
Jacob: hey ness.
Nessie: hey jake I have something to tell you.
Jacob: what that your preggo?
Nessie: I'm still a virgin you should know.
Jacob: thats only because you won't give my hand a visa for south of the border.
Nessie: dip da dirr.
Jacob: what is it you wanted then.
Nessie: I'm breaking up with you.
Jacob: what? How could you?
Nessie: I'm in love with another man.
Jacob: LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK! I HATE YOU YOU YOU BUNNY WHOLE!
Nessie: goodbye jake.
--------------------hours later---------------------------
Nessie:the sun beat down on me hard a rare occurence for Forks, as my bare feet pounded against the familiar grassy earth. He was hunting alone this much I knew. Sneaking up on him was a terrible idea and might be the end off my life but I fretted not. I had to see if he returned my feelings. Iknew he and Alice were having issues. Her ditzy and carefree.Him controling, dominating, pure unadulterated strength.I could see in my mind blond curls,honey eyes, and that smirk that could melt glaciers.Uncle Jasper sat on the edge of the cliff,facing the setting sun,which cast beams onto the water below. His shirt slightly torn. The scars on his chest visible from here.They repulsed my mom. She wouldn't let me here the story behind them.I wanted Jasper even if it ment stabbing my aunt in the back.To me she was nothing.Smoothly as my mother I stepped on a limb. Jasper's head turned and he lunged. He hit me like a sack of bricks knocking me over and landing on top of me.I felt enthralled by the intamicie. He quickly pulled off..too quick for my liking.He pulled me up and quickly said"sorry force of habit are you okay?" I quickly nodded my assent.He pulled me over to where he had been sitting. I asked him" whatcha lookin at?"He pointed to the setting sun and I nodded in understanding.I asked him"need a new shirt?" he promtly looked embarresed and nodded. He quickly took the top off and tossed it to the sea below. I quickly took the time to admire his well toned stomach.I pretened to look through my bag and said"oops don't have one I'm afraid.""s'okay"he mumbled.I then leaned up against him closer than most were aloud. I put my hand on his thigh and proptly asked him"am I sexually appealing?"He looked like a doe in headlights so I took the innesiative and flipped him over and started kissing him. He quickly regained his sences and pushed me off."what was that about I'm your uncle and I married to alice?"He quickly bolted towards the house and I knew I couldn't catch him.I just sat there crying. It wasn't like I hadn't expected this it just hurt more than I thought.
Jasper:I was breaking inside. Part of me wanted to keep going with nessie,but part of me knew that was wrong and kept me from giving in to my primal urges.
It wasn't like I wasn't in love with Alice but she wasn't my type.She was carefree and ditzy. Part of me missed Maria she was my equal in everything we had been intament on several occassions but Alice didn't know that. Nessie was so like Maria strong,ressilient,brave everything I admired in a woman.I repeat I am still in love with alice but I can't shake this feeling Nessie is my life. Besides I'm her uncle I shouldn't feel this way my family would not approve and what about jacob last time I checked Nessie was still dating him.Perhaps I just need some time alone.
Well my readers I told you it would be serious. Anyways nessie is not techinaclly related to jasper so it is legal. Any ways thanks to my incredible albino cowriter for this chapter Meg Giry I look foeward to working further with you.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Jasper helps Edward go Emo.
Edward: Jaaaaaaaaaaaaspeeeeeer!(for 20 min. straight)
Jasper: What the fudge doodles do you want emo-boy me and Alice were having se.....
Edward: First TMI, second That's what I want to talk with you about.
Jasper: Dude you know I'm not homo(HHMA means no offence to homo people in fact she loves them).
Edward: Not that. We all know you were emo at one point so I want your help being emo.
Jasper: Why?
Edward: Ever since Bella left me for that mountain lion and had a baby lion named Zeffron, I've had an unquenchable urge to cut myself but the razors break.
Jasper: First dude I'm not emo, second your a vampire of course razors break.
Edward: really. hey look you have a nose.
Jasper:Yes you have one too.
Edward:Really?
Jasper: yeah right here (points to nose).
Edward:ohhh.
Jasper: to be emo use your teeth.
Edward:ohhh.
Jasper:is all you can say ohhh(realises it's a voice recording of edward)
Jasper:curse you HHMA.
HHMA:you will die mortal scum(jasper drops burnt to death and breaks apart.
HHMA:Goodbye my loyal creampuffs.
Jasper: What the fudge doodles do you want emo-boy me and Alice were having se.....
Edward: First TMI, second That's what I want to talk with you about.
Jasper: Dude you know I'm not homo(HHMA means no offence to homo people in fact she loves them).
Edward: Not that. We all know you were emo at one point so I want your help being emo.
Jasper: Why?
Edward: Ever since Bella left me for that mountain lion and had a baby lion named Zeffron, I've had an unquenchable urge to cut myself but the razors break.
Jasper: First dude I'm not emo, second your a vampire of course razors break.
Edward: really. hey look you have a nose.
Jasper:Yes you have one too.
Edward:Really?
Jasper: yeah right here (points to nose).
Edward:ohhh.
Jasper: to be emo use your teeth.
Edward:ohhh.
Jasper:is all you can say ohhh(realises it's a voice recording of edward)
Jasper:curse you HHMA.
HHMA:you will die mortal scum(jasper drops burnt to death and breaks apart.
HHMA:Goodbye my loyal creampuffs.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Alice takes Emmett to Court.
Emmett: Welcome to the Cullen Show I'm you ho.....
Alice: Shut up Emmett or no Rosalie se...
Emmett: THAT IS OUT OF LINE, OBJECTION YOUR HIGH AUTHORESS.
Her High Majesty Arya(Im not going to tell you my real name perverts): I side with Miss. Whitlock, your sentence is no Rosalie se....
Alice: BONUS I so won suck that Emmett.
Emmett: I'm already getting blue ba..
HHMA(above formentioned royalty): I dont need to hear about your sexual life Mr. Cullen.
Emmett: Im going to cuddle Nessie she still loves her uncle unlike how she hates her egotinistical, self-centered, pixieish,shopaholic,midget Aunt Alice.
Alice:(fake tears pouring):is that true Nessie?
Nessie: Only slightly I don't hate you per se I only slightly dislike you.
HHMA: I'm sorry we got of topic. I'm Her High Majesty Arya. For all you albinos out there (Meg Giry wink,wink,nudge,nudge)I'm to be referred to as that. By the way I do not own twilight or any one else I state in my tale of two emmetts torn asunder and feed to the jacobs.By the way I love choclate so if you send me virtual choclate(by the way im not giving you my address you lardo perverts out there(Meg Giry my albinoish friend minus the pink eyes though that would be awesome.)Anyway I'm getting off topic and your getting bored but stay with me for ten more seconds I can't promise I'll be punctual with posting or punctual with anything but I will try my best loyal readers.Goodnight my fine feathered and sleepy little baby ho-ohs.(btw I LOVE pokemon and may bring them in later.BUENOS NOCHES my asleep readers.)
Alice: Shut up Emmett or no Rosalie se...
Emmett: THAT IS OUT OF LINE, OBJECTION YOUR HIGH AUTHORESS.
Her High Majesty Arya(Im not going to tell you my real name perverts): I side with Miss. Whitlock, your sentence is no Rosalie se....
Alice: BONUS I so won suck that Emmett.
Emmett: I'm already getting blue ba..
HHMA(above formentioned royalty): I dont need to hear about your sexual life Mr. Cullen.
Emmett: Im going to cuddle Nessie she still loves her uncle unlike how she hates her egotinistical, self-centered, pixieish,shopaholic,midget Aunt Alice.
Alice:(fake tears pouring):is that true Nessie?
Nessie: Only slightly I don't hate you per se I only slightly dislike you.
HHMA: I'm sorry we got of topic. I'm Her High Majesty Arya. For all you albinos out there (Meg Giry wink,wink,nudge,nudge)I'm to be referred to as that. By the way I do not own twilight or any one else I state in my tale of two emmetts torn asunder and feed to the jacobs.By the way I love choclate so if you send me virtual choclate(by the way im not giving you my address you lardo perverts out there(Meg Giry my albinoish friend minus the pink eyes though that would be awesome.)Anyway I'm getting off topic and your getting bored but stay with me for ten more seconds I can't promise I'll be punctual with posting or punctual with anything but I will try my best loyal readers.Goodnight my fine feathered and sleepy little baby ho-ohs.(btw I LOVE pokemon and may bring them in later.BUENOS NOCHES my asleep readers.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)